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Sunday, March 21, 2010

sunday

Today was a rough day.

Today is Sunday. But regardless of what we call it, the sun didn't shine, at least not when and where I could feel it. Instead, the day felt dark. At times, oppressive. Its encouraging start ultimately revealing itself as a deceptive forgery. Moments that would normally elicit happiness were instead racked with frustration and tears.

Was Friday all that long ago? The sun shone bright, and the world felt right. I smiled. I laughed. I loved. And I felt genuine joy for the first time in weeks. Hope sprung to life, easing my fears, and allowing me to trust. I found the freedom that had recently escaped my grasp, and had been all but impossible to track down. Friday made no promises, and I didn't need them. It was enough to be present, to experience joy, and to know that it is still possible. Even uncertainty was impotent to dash my rekindled joy or steal my hope.

But today is Sunday. And uncertainty feels strangely different. It conjures up the sadness, anger and fear that recently have been my ever-present companions. A portion of my hope devoured by its insatiable appetite.

I am saddened by this sudden turn, and merely left to ask: What happened to Friday? Because I can still see the joy-filled remnants of its warmth, even now.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thinking and praying for you!

-M,E,Z,M & Lucy Fuller

Anonymous said...

robby,

i noticed you had a new blog post from facebook and, when i went to your blog, this is he posting that was smack dab in the center of my screen. i began here. i understand, on many levels, these kinds of feelings, frustrations, and ponderings. i'm glad i'm not alone in similar spots and yet sad that you find yourself here in such a frustrating place at times.

i'm glad we're acquainted and will be mindful of you as you navigate your way through fridays and sundays and all the days between.

doreen